Christian men are often told to review Ephesians 5:25-27 for guidance on how to love their wives as God intended: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”
This guidance is all the more important in light of the disturbing lack of male role models in contemporary America. Where are the Mr. Rogers? [3] Or the Leave It to Beaver fathers? [2]
Instead of such positive male influences, we get dollar store knock offs that teach all the wrong values.
The recent revelation that macho mega-influencer Andrew Tate is being charged with sexual assault and sex-trafficking in Romania is illustrative of this broader point.
Tate is alleged to have lured one woman to join him in Romania. According to news reports, “The following month, Romanian prosecutors say, Tate [sexually assaulted the woman] while seeking to enlist her in a human-trafficking operation focused on making pornography.”
The court documents released as part of the trial indicate that prosecutors believe Tate and his brother used deception and threats against the women involved in making these videos to “transform them into slaves.” [1]
On the bright side, it is possible that the arrest and prosecution of Tate have shown all the world exactly the kind of person men should not become. It is undoubted that the notion of masculinity is controversial in the modern era, with words like “toxic”being liberally used to describe any activity that might even hint at traditional manliness (though labeling Tate the “King of Toxic Masculinity” may not be too far off). [4]
This acknowledgment does not reject the fact that masculinity has too often been used to justify violence and entitled behavior on the part of men, husbands, and fathers.
Nevertheless, in the 21st century, it is time to stop demonizing men for “failing”to be like women. Instead, we must begin painting a positive picture of what masculinity can and should look like within a Christian framework.
Instead of following the teachings of secularists like Tate, we should turn to the example that Jesus Christ set, being willing to die for the Church, His bride. This was reiterated in 1 Peter 3:7, which taught, “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect.”
As we consider the celebration of Valentine’s Day, this is a prime time to consider and remind ourselves of the loving and self-sacrificial relationship that God intended for men to have with their wives and families. This notion of masculinity is not self-centered or unkind; it is selfless and forgiving. It is not unmoved and heartless but strong and deeply loving. This is the notion of masculinity that we ought to remind ourselves to emulate.
As Deuteronomy 31:6 teaches us in relation to the world, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
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